Wisdom of the Fool’s Card: Personal Journey into the Unknown

I am always amazed to see how children are not afraid to ask questions about things they do not understand. They are naturally open to learning. As a child, I was also extremely inquisitive and liked to come up with loaded questions that made my parents go “Um…” How would one answer a curious five year old who wanted to know why an oak was an oak and a cat was a cat. The answer that God made them was just not quite enough. I needed to know who God was and what he felt like. As I grew up, life got too busy for posing rhetorical questions. It was much easier to simply accept things the way they have always been. But even despite my attempted acceptance, I couldn’t help but recognize that when I needed help, a sincere prayer would always bring relief and solutions. I put a desire to know what was lying beyond common beliefs on a far shelf until the time and opportunity presented themselves.

While being spiritually open, my formal education and later career were very down-to-earth. I chose a safe path that I was able to see and touch; how much more grounded can the financial industry be? After years of working with people helping them solve financial dilemmas, I completed my Master’s degree in Business Management, and interestingly enough, although I loved what I did, I didn’t feel gravitated back to banking. My desire to look for deeper answers to life has spontaneously re-kindled, as if the clock has struck and the time has come.

At this point I had no idea where the path would take me, but I gathered enough courage to step into the uncharted territory of a spiritual quest. If you know tarot, this time of my life would be a perfect example of energy presented in the Fool’s card— it is not major nor minor arcana, it is the one that’s in between. Between the worlds, signifying the beginning of an important journey into the unknown. This card is often misunderstood. Believe me, I had a great opportunity to experience it for my own! As future was unclear, the only thing that I was certain about at that time was the fact that I was finally able to pursue what I have always loved – connection with Spirit, the invisible force that governed the matrix of this physical world. What was going for me, is that, at this moment of my life, I had enough life experience and a solid grounded foundation to fuel and support my journey.

We all have heard that nothing worth having comes easy. Building a connection with Spirit is no exception. The biggest initial challenge for any adult opening to Spirit is what we normally consider our biggest ally— the rational mind. For someone like me, an innate feeler but, by trade, a big time left-brain thinker, it was difficult to allow my right-brain to speak. As a result, I would often diminish or disregard my own intuitive feelings and messages received from my Spirit Team.

For a good while in my development, I attributed hunches and visions received to work of my wild imagination! Many times, I was ready to give up. Only to see later evidence to my intuitive hutches. Like, I should have brought an umbrella on a sunny day when I suddenly felt compelled to do so. Having ignored that, I ended up getting soaked in a storm that came despite the sunny forecast. I have noticed that the quiet voice was louder when situations required my urgent attention. Example that I will probably remember forever is the day when I, by accident, got into the opposite lane on a highway. I didn’t realize it until I heard a voice telling me to look to the right at the car in the lane next to me. Its engine also suddenly appeared to sound abnormally loud to me. Because I turned my head, I recognized that I was in the opposite lane and I moved over. A split moment later, a car went by speeding in the opposite lane that I was in just a second ago.

Ultimately, after many trials and errors, I have finally made a conscious decision to acknowledge that quiet little voice that whispered a word of advice, gave a hunch or a nudge, and showed me pictures and visions in meditations. While this may sound easy enough, it is was a long process of learning to trust! It was a long battle of the rational mind, bringing forward thousands of reasons why my intuitive journey was a crazy idea. My receptive, intuitive mind, however, was quiet and subtle. Rather than convince, it let me make a decision whether I wanted to accept my experiences or deny them. It didn’t try to persuade, influence or to prove anything. It left it all up to me to figure it out.

Since the big inner skeptic in me did not want to back down, I decided to buy a deck of angel oracle cards and to give it a whirl to test what I was receiving. What I did not expect is that I would start receiving subtle psychic impressions and recognize patterns and story lines in the card images! This was the wind I needed to sail off my boat. I started my journey of spiritual development classes. Through guidance and encouragement of wonderful mentors and teachers I finally allowed myself to embrace it. After hundreds of practice readings with others, my practical mind had no longer a say – I was connecting with my intuition, I knew things about people I couldn’t have possibly known, and I started bringing in evidence from loved ones in Spirit.

While cracking the door to intuition took some work, a relationship with self is where the real heavy lifting began. Old conditioning that instilled fear of working with Spirit, coupled with personal insecurities, self-doubt, and negative self-talk took flight much faster than my intuition. Yes, I now knew I could work intuitively, but questions like, “What will others say? How will I explain this to my family?” flooded my mind for a very long time. Self-image, expectations and opinions of others, old fears – talk about having to face all those things that we bury inside hoping not to see them ever again!

Through this challenging yet rewarding path of self-discovery, I have learned that being sensitive was not a curse but a gift. With proper practice and guidance it could be harnessed to channel emotions and energy of self and others. I have learned that my prior unexplained mood swings were nothing else but the effects of being an empath, a sponge to external energies. I have learned the importance of energetic hygiene, boundaries, and protection.
I have also learned to listen to myself. I realized I loved yoga and yoga loved me back. I connect deeply with nature and animals. I love to create, write, and help people. I love to improve, heal and make people feel better, whether it is about themselves, their relationships, or life paths in general. Although none of these things were ground-breaking discoveries, they helped me to define myself. Not through the eyes of others but through my own.

I have got to admit, spiritual development is not for faint-hearted! And while a lot of inner work is done in solitude and meditations, a good support group can make or break your journey! As for me, none of my friends or family members could help me in this matter. They just didn’t believe in any of this voodoo stuff! I had to figure out a way to connect with like-minded people. Thanks Goodness, for the rise of the Internet! I knew Spirit had my back! Through coincidences and synchronicities, I have met amazing people who became my friends, mentors, supporters, and partners in crime.

I have found my “tribe”! I have learned that a solid supportive community is super important on the path of spiritual development! A group with accountability and respect for journeys of others can help you identify and overcome challenges and experiences you may not understand, and of course, practice and learn from each other!
Meeting new people on this path also led me to a realization that Intuitive work is not for everyone. Being intuitive not the only prerequisite to this work. It involves discipline, focus, an ability to balance higher energies and grounding. It is based on giving service to others by making space in your own energy field, regardless of how and what you feel. It is work of acceptance of self and others. This work will change you. You will learn not to judge. You will learn to see others just the way they are, from a loving and compassionate point.

To me, intuitive work is the work of healing arts. This is why I do it. I love to see how it restores people on a deeper level, so different from what we are accustomed to. It is not physical. You can’t touch or see energy, most people do not have this ability. But you can feel the vibration of happiness that a Medium can bring to a Sitter through a genuine connection with a passed Loved one. We are all connected.

An ethical intuitive comes from a place of love— the state of being where everything flows from. Being centered in love is the disposition that distinguishes an excellent intuitive, a trusted advisor, from an average reader. Offering a reading that is gentle, genuine, caring, and understanding can make a session therapeutical and cathartic for your client. It may change their life forever. It can bring hope and courage to keep on going, to keep moving towards the light. It can bring closures and healing to the deepest wounds. But more importantly, it can bring love that will keep on giving!

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